Faire la Bise

When and with whom should you faire la bise?

Despite similarities with a handshake in the U.S., la bise is not quite as ubiquitous. It is common to use it with people you have already met and when you meet close friends-of-friends for the first time. It is less common professionally and with unrelated strangers: If you walk into a bank for a first meeting with an accountant, you would give them a handshake. Timing factors in as well. You won’t faire la bise with a coworker or family that you see every day just because you know them. On a day to day basis, you would simply say bonjour and save la bise for before or after a holiday, a vacation or long absence, or an important event.

When in doubt, your best bet is not to rush into either, but wait for the other person to initiate. They may even ask you directly, On se fait la bise?

Very rarely used in the U.S. – except perhaps as an affect in “high society” – in France la bise is as common as shaking hands is in America. Though it may seem like a difference that “translates” directly to a handshake or a hug, like any culturalism, la bise in France has its own rules, which can be confusing for a non-native.

What does “faire la bise” mean?

Faire la bise means “to give a kiss” and generally refers to the French practice of kissing cheeks during greetings and goodbyes as opposed to romantic kissing.

The Act Itself

In most parts of France, la bise consists of one kiss on each cheek. Generally it’s not an actual kiss, but a quick touch of the cheeks accompanied by a kissing noise. There may be exceptions to this for people you’re particularly close with. Verbal greetings are often interlaced with la bise. If you’re meeting a friend of a friend, for example, you might say your names and enchanté(e) as you exchange your bises.

Busy bises: How to know when to stop!

In most areas, two is standard and the “safe” bet, but additional repetitions also exist. In Provence, three kisses are common and in other parts of Southern France, up to four can be typical. If you aren’t sure, let the other person lead and follow along. If you back out too soon or go in for an extra, just laugh it off. La bise is a friendly gesture!

Verbal variations

The kissing ritual extends to the French lexicon as well: phone calls can be ended by saying “Bisous!” (kisses!), and informal emails and textos might also be closed with bisou(s) or bise(s).

While it can be a bit confusing, the custom is actually quite endearing when you get accustomed to it. It’s not uncommon to see the French stopping all along their route to faire la bise and say a quick hello to neighbors. In fact, it’s a running joke in France that you should always get up to leave a party fifteen minutes before you want to leave because you have to faire la bise with everyone as you make your way to the door!